she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are we still banned from the library?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
