just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
