i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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