that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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