i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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