Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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