Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
