Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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(708): View more from Illinois

sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful

Fav 8 1736 4214
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(703): View more from Virginia

What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

Fav 12 2693 1428
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(407): View more from Florida

Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

Fav 4 1980 908
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(334): View more from Alabama

My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

Fav 11 3310 1147
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(540): View more from Virginia

He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.

Fav 4 1677 763
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(785): View more from Kansas

im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.

Fav 2 1622 638
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(636): View more from Missouri

Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.

Fav 2 52 70
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(330): View more from Ohio

it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body

Fav 0 218 222
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