You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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