i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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