Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize