apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize