3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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