you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
