he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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