go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
