We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
