I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
