Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
