her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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