i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
