I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
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i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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