Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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