Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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