Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
