So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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