Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize