I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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