How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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