i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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