ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize