I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
