can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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