He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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