I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
