I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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