How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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