Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
