exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize