I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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