Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
