we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
