Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
