You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
