not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
