Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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