Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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