Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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