Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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