Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
