I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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