you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
