it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize