i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.