Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
