true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize