Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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