just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
