I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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