I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
its liver damage thursday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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