That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
